My girlfriend is a little emotional right now and wants to have that talk. I love her and we’ve been going out for a little over 6 months. I have just two questions. Please help me out.
First she is a little mad at me because I’m not into this lounge cover band she enjoys so much. She’s been following these guys for years and will drive incredible distances to see them. They’re just all right but I can see why the ladies think they’re so incredible. Personally I rather she just go with her girlfriends but she’s now taken me for the fourth time to see this band, more then a 45 minute drive away last night and now I’m tired at work all day. One time we drove almost two hours to see them in a hotel lounge. She asked me again what I thought of them. And I told her that they’re “not my cup of tea”. And now she is all upset. She has had problems with past boyfriend being insanely jealous of this band. I just think they simply suck and aren’t worth the drive or my time. She has followed them for year and has befriended them and some of their groupies. How do I tell her I really don’t want to see this band anymore? I want to just say your friend’s band really sucks but not appeared to be insecure.
Next since we are past that 6-month time now. She wants to know what are future will be. Other then being forced to see that crappy band she is an awesome woman. I see her in my future and I think she could be the one. How do I tell her I see a future for us but not make any promises of marriage? Because I think you’ve got to know somebody for a few years before you make that jump.
Keep in mind her being upset may be hormonal. The band really does suck thou.Need some girl advice ASAP! Help!?
Communication is the key.
Just sit her down and tell her that you think its awesome that she has been loyal to this band and you want her to enjoy them as much as she can, but you dont feel the same way and by you going with her all the time, its hypocritical, and thats something you dont want to be. Let her know that when ever you go with her, and have to pretend you are enjoying the show, you feel like you are lying to her.
Hopefully she will understand but really, this obsession she has seems a little more deep rooted than just the band.
Did she start stalking them during a major life change (ie becomming independant, just out of a bad relationship, after a death, or a big move?) could explain her hang up on this band.
As far as the future goes, plan an event in the future (say 6-8 months from now) a holiday or an event and tell her about it.
Say ';ive got something really special planned for us......its a holiday to .................! I thought it would be a really great way to celebrate us and get some quality time together. Im looking into all the options now so make sure you can get time off work in 6months or so, cos id hate to have to cancel'; this way, you are showing her that you are thinking about the future, and that you want her to be in your future, and that you are so confident that your relationship is going to last that you are making plans for early next years already.........but without mention of marrige.
Good luckNeed some girl advice ASAP! Help!?
Be honest. Tell her like/love you but I prefer you see the band with your girlfriends. How about something me and you can do that is special just for us. Like Once a month a picnic at the park. Or dinner by moonlight!
Honestly, I think you should just be straight with her and tell her that you honestly don't enjoy the bands style of music but you go because you want to be with her. Try taking her to some shows that are in your taste, that way you could maybe make a compromise. Sometimes you have to do things in a relationship to make your partner happy- that doesn't mean you always have to go.
In a healthy relationship you should be able to get over something as trivial as a difference in taste. You should just try to let her know that you don't mind her going and will go with her every once in a blue moon if she really wants you too, but other than that you don't really care for the music and don't want to go as frequently as you have been.
If she can't accept that, there may be a deeper problem.
On the future thing, (if you can get past the music issue) I would say just tell her you love being around her and really want to work to make it last. (Some variation of that)
That's vague enough to not imply marriage but I think good enough to let her know you want some sort of future.
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